Sometimes I think I am going crazy with all these thoughts that seem to be pounding in my head...I dont know how to let go now that I have so much at stake...I am driving Anil mad with my paranoia and he has been so patient with me...I need to lighten up and be the same ME who was free-spirited and fun to be with...but then a year ago I didnt have anyone or anything in my life, worth worrying about...

 

What scares me the most is MYSELF...the fear that I will screw it up all and end up being unhappy...while making everyone unhappy too! But then I dont want to do that and I swear I will calm down and make sure I revive my free spirit and let life go on as it does...no matter what...

 

I read something very inspirational today...an essay by a leading writer/journalist in India...and my...I am disturbed...but not in the bad way...in a way that awakens the writer in me...I draw inspiration from anything that disturbs me and I am...I wish I could just take off and be with my laptop and write...but it seems almost impossible right now...

 

I will for sure write something tonight...I have so much to write and so many excuses to say I am busy...